Starting therapy is a big step and let’s be honest, figuring out what to look for in a therapist can feel like a whole other project. You might be navigating a life change, burnout, grief, identity questions, or just trying to make sense of things and now you have to scroll through dozens of therapist profiles, trying to pick someone you can imagine crying in front of.
No pressure, right?
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to get it perfect. But knowing what matters most to you can make the search feel way less overwhelming. Let’s walk through what to look for in a therapist in a way that’s practical and deeply personal.
1. What to Look for in a Therapist: Start With the Feeling
The most important part of therapy isn’t your therapist’s training or certifications.
It’s the relationship you build together. Research backs this up: the bond between client and therapist (aka the therapeutic alliance) is one of the strongest predictors of growth.
What does that mean for you? You should feel at ease when you’re in the space with them. You should feel respected. And you should feel like your therapist sees you as you, not just your symptoms.
If you find yourself masking, over-explaining, or shrinking yourself to fit the space? That’s a sign this might not be the right fit.
2. What to Look for in a Therapist: Experience That Resonates
A lot of therapists list a wide range of topics they work with: anxiety, depression, grief, identity, etc. That’s great but it’s okay to get more specific. Especially if you’re working through something layered like coming out, navigating cultural identity, or healing from religious trauma.
Ask yourself:
Does this therapist have experience supporting folks with similar lived experiences?
Do I feel like they would get it without me having to explain the basics?
Shared identity isn’t everything, but sometimes it can be a shortcut to feeling understood.
3. What to Look for in a Therapist: Style and Safety
Therapists often use different approaches, a few of the most popular ones are CBT, EMDR, or DBT. You don’t have to know all the jargon. But you can ask:
Are they more structured or intuitive?
Do they offer tools and strategies, or do they hold space for processing?
Do they support you in connecting with your body, your values, or your inner child?
Also worth asking: how do they respond to feedback?
Can you share if something doesn’t sit right or feels off in the moment, like if things go sideways, or it feels like they’re missing the point?
That safety to name when something feels off is huge and honestly, it’s one of the biggest green flags when exploring what to look for in a therapist.
4. What to Look for in a Therapist: Trust the Vibe Check
Therapy is a relationship. And like any relationship, sometimes you click... and sometimes you don’t. That’s not a failure, it’s just chemistry.
To get a feel for their vibe:
Check their website and social media (if they have it)
Read a few blog posts or watch an intro video (if they got one)
Ask for a phone or video consult before committing to a session
Ask yourself: Can I picture myself being real with this person? Can I not be perfectly put together when I meet with them?
That’s how you’ll know if the vibe is right.
5. What to Look for in a Therapist: Convenience and Fit
Therapy gotta feel doable, not like another stressor. That includes:
Session format: in-person, virtual, phone, walk-and-talk
Scheduling flexibility: evenings, weekends, lunch hours
Location and commute (if in-person)
Accessibility: is the space physically, culturally, and emotionally accessible?
Sometimes clients have a strong preference (say, they need in-person sessions). Other times, they’re flexible. It’s helpful to reflect on what will actually help you show up consistently and with as little friction as possible.
6. What to Look for in a Therapist: Budget Transparency
Therapy is an investment. In Canada, therapy rates often range between $100 and $300 per session. Some therapists offer sliding scale spots. Many clients also use extended health benefits through school, work, or family plans.
It’s totally okay to ask:
Do you offer sliding scale options?
Can I get reimbursed through my benefits?
What frequency do your clients usually attend sessions?
Transparency around fees isn’t just about money—it’s part of building a respectful, collaborative relationship.
7. What to Look for in a Therapist: Your Gut Knows
You might not find the perfect fit on the first try. That doesn’t mean you’re too broken for therapy or doing it wrong. It just means this is a relationship, and relationships take a minute to settle.
If you started seeing a therapist and do not feel things are clicking, it’s okay to move on.
You’re allowed to advocate for what you need.
It took me three tries before finding a therapist who was the best fit for me!
Knowing what to look for in a therapist means trusting yourself to notice what feels off and what feels nourishing. It’s okay to honour both.
Final Thoughts: What to Look for in a Therapist
Focus on the feeling first: Do you feel seen, safe, and understood?
Find someone who understands your story (or is open to learning it)
Check their vibe, their values, and their availability
Be upfront about budget and accessibility needs
And remember: you get to choose. This process is yours.
You’re not overthinking it. You’re not behind. And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
💬 If this article helped you feel a little less overwhelmed about what to look for in a therapist, feel free to share it with someone else who’s searching. You never know who might need it.
